Congress is Taking Action Against Walker Hayes

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The year is 2017. Congress can agree on nothing and even with a majority in all branches of government the Republican party has had a dickens of a time passing legislation.

The country has been looking for something, anything to bring congress together and end this partisan divide and that is where Walker Hayes comes in. Middle aged father of 7 Walker Hayes has released an album so outrageously dreadful that congress has literally stopped all other business in order to attend to this crisis.

Reports have been coming out of Washington that 11 senators had to be rushed to the hospital over the course of the weekend after being exposed to boom.

Mitch Mcconnell made an impassioned speech on the Senate floor Monday in which he said, “This is too much! Where do we draw the line? How many innocent Americans can we allow to be subjected to this sewage?”

Every senator from both parties stood up and applauded the majority leader’ words. So what is congress planning on doing to combat the filth that has permeated out of Nashville? They have agreed in a unanimous vote to pass the Middle Aged White Guy Talk Singing Act which will likely send shock waves throughout Nashville.

Sam Hunt and his team could not be reached for comment however, it is expected that his days making “music” are numbered. The only question that remains is whether or not President Trump will sign the bill into law. His Tweets about the album have been extremely unclear and troubling (see below).

Tweet 1. Walker Hayes’ new album is the greatest country album of all time. He has already sold more albums than fake country little Georgie Strait ever did #MCGA

Tweet 2. Why is Hillary trying to stop the public from hearing the GREAT Walker Hayes album? And WHY ISN’T THE FBI INVESTIGATING THAT?! #MCGA

Tweet 3. Fake blog sites with very low ratings Farce the Music, The Musical Divide and Country Exclusive are trying to hurt my good friend @WalkerHayes. I’ve heard many people, good people say that those blogs r crumbling. They hate REAL COUNTRY MUSIC! #MakeCountryGreatAgain #FakeBlogs

Whether or not the President signs the bill into law, both the house and the senate have veto proof majorities and will likely override him.

As citizens we can only pray that congress does the right thing and ends this madness.

 

Fake News

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