Country Newcomer Brett Young’s Music is Literally Curing People

 

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The quotes below are all part of my interview with Dr Reginald Spears of Nashville State Tech

I have criticized Brett Young’s music from time to time until I learned just how important Brett Young and some of Brett’s peers are in the quest to cure insomnia. For those of you that don’t know, insomnia is a sleep disorder that affects about 60 million American’s. Doctors and researchers at Nashville State Tech have been working tirelessly for the past 3 years in order to find a cure for the sleep disorder. “Pills are only so effective” said world renowned sleep doctor Reginald Spears. “We wanted to come up with something that would cure the disorder. Little did we realize that the cure was right under our noses here in Nashville.”

And that’s where Brett Young’s music comes in. One day during a lunch break Spears and his team of researcher’s were listening to the local country station Snapback FM when all of a sudden everyone within earshot of the radio had passed out only to awake 8 hours later. “We didn’t understand what the hell happened. How do 27 people all pass out at the same time and awake basically 8 hours later?” Spears and his team would have dismissed this strange event if it had not become a regular occurrence. Every time certain artists music would come on the radio it would happen. “It was especially bad when this guy Brett Young’s music would play. We decided to test out his music on patients after we realized what was happening to us.”

The researcher’s realized quickly however that it was crucial to not over expose their subjects to too much of Brett Young’s music. “One patient was in a coma for 6 months. The music didn’t simply make him sleep, it put him in a coma.” The coma was induced after the 4th song was played. “We realized the key to treating our patients was not simply to play music from artists like Brett Young. We had to be careful of the dosages that we were giving them.”

Over time the team decided to test other artists music in order to see if there would be weaker or stronger results. “When we tested Blake Shelton’s music the results were extremely promising but when we tested Florida Georgia Line and Sam Hunt songs the subjects and researchers began to get belligerent. This proved our hypothesis that you cannot simply prescribe any mainstream artists music and expect the same results.”

What is so exciting about this research is that it has been so successful in curing insomnia that the FDA is fast tracking the approval. “One day in the not to distant future, you will go to your doctor with your sleep troubles and he will simply write you a prescription to listen to a specific mainstream country artist or a mix of a couple and you will be able to sleep.” On the bottle it is very clear that you cannot listen to Brett Young and drive at the same time. The effects of his music can be dangerous if not consumed under the supervision of a trained sleep doctor.

I would like to than Dr Spears for participating in this interview and for being the doctor that cured insomnia! So many people across the world are grateful for the work you and your team of researchers have done.

 

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Thomas Rhett and Maren Morris Craving You Single Review

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For Thomas Rhett’s newest single he shows real growth and maturity. Rhett heard the criticisms about his music over the last few years and decided to release a true country song with meaning. Bye, bye are the days of shallow pop songs where he drools over how hot his wife is. This song took a great deal of time to dissect as the lyrics are complex and intelligent.

NOPE! What this song in reality is is a continuation of the rubbish that was on Rhett’s last album Tangled Up. This is a straight up pop song that includes Maren Morris singing mostly background (she doesn’t have any solo lines). The song starts off with some heavy computerized drums before the guitar comes in reminding me a little of “Seein’ Red”. The lyrics make sure to be super generic and cliche dropping words like girl and comparing love to a drug (how original). All the song is about is how much Tommy boy craves his girl when she’s not around. He can’t be away from the girl even going as far as to say that his body is shaking when she isn’t around. That kind of reminds me a bit of “Sleep Without You” for the level of whipped that the guy is admitting to being.

The only semi-good thing on the song is Maren Morris who wasn’t even given any lines of her own. She sounds great on the song from what you can hear and belts out one of the final words nicely. This is just the same old Thomas Rhett and there’s no reason to expect anything different. I have no doubt this will be a huge hit on country radio and I could see this even being pushed as a crossover song as well. But sadly, the only thing that this song has me craving is a puke bucket.

Grade: a generous D-

Re-Charting The Chart

Every week we will take a look at the top 30 Mediabase Country Chart. We will re-rank the songs on the chart based on the quality and overall enjoyment of each song. Next to each song I will provide the ranking that we would give it and the actual ranking on the Mediabase chart in parenthesis (From America’s Music Charts). Songs that are in the color red are songs that are either recurrent or in danger of going recurrent soon, while blue is for songs that I predict will go to number 1 at some point. At the end of each ranking there will be some thoughts about the current chart as well as any news or updates that are deemed important. I hope everyone enjoys this weekly post and feel free to comment/agree/disagree with anything you see.

  1. Zac Brown Band                                                       My Old Man (30) A
  2. Eric Church ft. Rhiannon Giddens                     Kill A Word (8) A-
  3. Craig Campbell                                                         Outskirts of Heaven (26) B+
  4. Runaway June                                                            Lipstick (28) B+
  5. Chris Janson                                                               Holdin’ Her (21) B+
  6. Brad Paisley                                                                Today (4) B+
  7. Miranda Lambert                                                      We Should Be Friends (25) B
  8. Darius Rucker                                                             If I Told You (22) B
  9. Chris Young                                                                Sober Saturday Night (1) B
  10. Dan and Shay                                                              How Not To (19)
  11. Little Big Town                                                           Better Man (5)  B-
  12. Josh Turner                                                                  Hometown Girl (12) C+
  13. Jon Pardi                                                                       Dirt On My Boots (2) C+
  14. Luke Bryan                                                                  Fast (6) C+
  15. Jason Aldean                                                               Any Ol’ Barstool (9) C+
  16. High Valley                                                                 Make You Mine (16) C+
  17. Luke Combs                                                                Hurricane (18) C
  18. Kenny Chesney                                                          Bar At The End of…(14) C
  19. Garth Brooks                                                              Baby, Let’s Lay Down… (13) C
  20. Trent Harmon                                                            There’s a Girl (20) C
  21. Lauren Alaina                                                             Road Less Traveled (7) C
  22. Rascal Flatts                                                                Yours If You Want It (23) C-
  23. Brett Young                                                                 In Case You Didn’t Know (27) C-
  24. Keith Urban                                                                 The Fighter (29) F
  25. Kelsea Ballerini                                                          Yeah Boy (10) F
  26. Dierks Bentley                                                            Black (17) F
  27. Michael Ray                                                                Think a Little Less (3) F
  28. Lady Antebellum                                                       You Look Good (24) F
  29. Brantley Gilbert                                                        The Weekend (11) F
  30. Sam Hunt                                                                    Body Like A Backroad(15) F

New To The Top 30: Zac Brown Band “My Old Man” Such a great song. This is also the first time a song has surpassed “Kill A Word” for the top spot on my Re-Charting The Chart.

Songs That Left The Top 30: “Seein’ Red.” I would love if I never had to see Dustin Lynch on this chart again. His music is garbage and has no place on any station.

Songs I See Leaving Us Soon: “Baby Lets Lay Down and Dance” and “Lipstick” are done. I’m so disappointed to see “Lipstick” go because I love that song and Runaway June in general. No news on a new album or follow up single yet. And yeah Garth Brooks is still a thing I guess. Also “There’s A Girl” is done. 

Quick Thoughts: One of the worst songs on the chart leaves and probably the best song that will chart this year joins the chart so good news on that front. There are still too many songs that just don’t belong on the chart hell “Make You Mine” is on week 54 for pete sake. Also I added “Road Less Traveled” to songs that I predict will go number one eventually. I’m a little surprised but, it shows how powerful On The Verge can be. What helps her is that there are some songs behind her that are running out of gas that will not go number 1.