Exclusive Kelsea Ballerini New Album Track Listing

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It’s been a slow week for the blog because of how busy I have been but that should change in the coming weeks with school ending. In the meantime I read an article by Nash Country Daily that describes Kelsea Ballerini’s new album as “dark” and “about growing up.” Since I’m a jerk, I decided to make a joke out of this and write up a fake track list with a short description for each song. The descriptions are meant to be written by Kelsea as well. Hope you enjoy.

1. Dunkin’

A truly dark tale of a trip to Dunkin’ Donuts in which I ordered a decaf double foam latte with soy milk only to later realize that it was whole milk instead of soy milk! It happened a few years ago but it still gives me chills.

2. No Phone, Alone

This one is still hard to talk about. One day on the way home from the mall I left my phone in the limo. I was without my phone for like 2 hours and I wanted to die. I wonder how like the pilgrims didn’t get to text the Indians about stuff.

3. Boy 

This track is a lot more uptempo and happy than the previous two dark songs. Basically I like say the word boy a lot of times. The music video for this is like so lit, I can’t wait for everyone to see it!

4. Daddy Where’s My Glitter?

Yet another dark track on this album. I go back to a traumatic day during my childhood when I ran out of glitter and Daddy wouldn’t get me more. He claimed it was because he had a broken leg but, I think he was just faking.

5. Real Housewives

I like love all the reality shows on TV. I just wanted to honor all the incredible people that work so hard to be on these shows. It’s so tough being famous.

6. Brave

So like a lot of people don’t know this about me but I’m like really brave. On the tour bus one night there was like a spider and I hardly cried at all. I calmed myself down by playing some of my new music and then the spider for some reason just died on it’s own. So weird!

7. Country Boy Shake It For Me

This song was such an inspiration growing up! I love Luke Bryan and I wanted to do the song Country Girl Shake It For Me from the female perspective. The song was a little more on the traditional side so I changed the music a little to fit with my personality.

8. Song 8

Writing an album is like really hard. I just ran out of ideas so I said “How bout we just call a song song 8?” Well my label loved it and we decided to run with it! It’s not really about like anything but, it’s really happy and fun.

9. Dibs Remix feat Katy Perry

Dibs was such an inspiring track to so many people that I thought it would be great if we could do a remix with Katy Perry! She’s so incredible and her music is actually pretty country if you think about it.

10. Country Radio Your Like The Coolest!

This is my little hey hey to country radio. You guys are like so awesome! You will play anything I send you and I think that’s like so cool!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Rebuke of This Whiskey Riff Nonsense

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I don’t do this. I don’t write rebuttals to other blogs articles/think pieces but I think something should be said about the idiocy that is the Whiskey Riff Article Here’s The Real Reason You Hate Mainstream Country. The condescending article from the click bate, faux news site Whiskey Riff (written by Wes Langeler) attempts to paint people who are displeased with the direction of mainstream country as nose picking losers who are just jealous of how good looking and successful mainstream country artists are. The article does nothing of course to delve into actual criticisms that non mainstream fans have of the genre. Instead, the article starts off by comparing the mega stars in the mainstream to the jocks on the football team in high school. “Luke Bryan, Sam Hunt and Florida Georgia Line are like those jocks that you loves to hate. The good looking, popular guys that seem to get an unworthy and unjustified amount of attention (and girls). You hated them for it.” So essentially if an artist is good looking and popular then they are off limits to critique. Forget the fact that Luke Bryan has not recorded one above average song during his 11 year career and stop being a hater, obviously Sam Hunt is country. Next in the click bait article Langeler attempts to say that this bro country life style of underage drinking, hunting and fishing is what real people do. If you can’t identify with every song on the radio singing about those things then obviously you never did any of those things. You were just a little geek and you were jealous of the kids that did do those things.

Well Wes Langeler, the truth is we don’t give a rats ass whether the music is mainstream or not, popular or not. The reason that so many fans are fed up with mainstream country is because it lacks any substance, lacks any country instrumentation and is just a cheap rip off of other genres of music and other artists. Your honestly saying that you can’t understand why people would dare say that Sam Hunt isn’t a real country artist? An R&B singer being pedaled to country radio because he would disappear if he went pop? You can’t understand why people would be ticked off at Luke Bryan for putting out songs like “Home Alone Tonight” where he sings about sending drunk revenge selfies to his ex girlfriend? Or how about Thomas Rhett who rips off a different artist with every single?

The reason that independent artists and artists of substance are having greater success than ever and the reason radio is dying is because people are sick of it. Chris Stapleton is the biggest star in country music by a mile according to sales and he can’t even get radio play. Aaron Watson an independent Texas artist has had 2 consecutive number 1 albums despite not getting a lick of airplay on the radio while Chris Lane sold a paltry 6000 albums in his debuts first week. The only place that mainstream country stars are still relevant is the bankrupt, failed radio enterprises who will be lucky to survive beyond the next couple of years.

And as I said, it has nothing to do with mainstream or not mainstream for us it has to do with good music versus bad music. There are certainly artists in the mainstream putting out great music. Eric Church, William Michael Morgan, Miranda Lambert and Chris Stapleton just to name a few. And isn’t it ironic that a mainstream fan would mock independent fans for just being losers. Have you not seen the destruction and chaos that has ensued at some of your hero’s concerts including your boy Luke Bryan punching a concert goer? I could go into more graphic acts of debauchery that have ensued at these concerts but i’ll save you the details.

People are sick and tired of mainstream country because it sucks not because they are/were losers. I sincerely hope you don’t truly believe this incredibly close minded, vacuous idea. This failure to see what is really happening in country music is what is destroying the mainstream and the institutions that support it. When Cumulus and IHeart media’s collapses are complete I hope you have a “safe space” as you so brilliantly called it. TRIGGERED.

 

The Best of The Worst March Madness Country Edition

As promised I will be doing a March Madness feature for the blog. You guys will get to vote in a March Madness style format with singles going against each other.  I thought for awhile about what would be the criteria used in order to be eligible so I came up with this. You will get to vote on what you deem to be the best single from the artists that are viewed as the worst offenders in country music right now. I will give 2 possible choices for each artist in the first bout of voting. Then once it is narrowed down to one song for each artist, those songs will face off against each other based on seed and you will get to vote on who advances to the next round. There will be 32 songs to begin. Eventually we will get a winner who will be crowned the best of the worst, song. I came up with this idea because a lot of these artists who are currently putting out bad or boring music have had songs or even albums of great songs from years ago. This shows what they are capable of if they only tried. For some artists like Dustin Lynch it was difficult to come up with 2 good singles so please excuse “Where It’s at.” We will get to go back into the vault a little bit and listen to these artists when they still put out good country music. Enjoy!… and Vote!

Field Of 32

 

 

Keep Biting The Hand That Feeds You

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A few weeks ago I started thinking about the idea of legacies. Specifically, I was thinking about legacies of older Country singers and wondering why older artists who have already made all the money in the world don’t go into legacy mode at the end of their careers. What got me thinking about this was actually Rascal Flatts. Rascal Flatts, who has basically been around my entire life has certainly released their share of bad songs even though they also have a number of songs that I enjoy. So I was thinking if Rascal Flatts is practically done being relevant on the radio and they have made more money than god why not go into legacy mode? Why not make the best music of their careers right now and forget the boring pop stuff? I sat on this idea for a couple of weeks before I realized actually how bad of an idea that was. It’s not a bad idea for Rascal Flatts to start making better music but, the bad idea would be for Rascal Flatts after two decades to drastically change who they are and what their hardcore fans love. An artists legacy basically is what it is after two decades of making music. The people that never liked Rascal Flatts aren’t going to ever like them no matter what kind of music they make so why bother catering to them? Not to mention the fact that it would seem disingenuous if a band as old as Rascal Flatts all of a sudden started playing traditional country.

But, not all artists have gone the route of staying true to what they have always been. Some artists have chosen to turn their back on the fans and the music that have gotten them this far. Just some names I will throw at you right now are Dierks Bentley, The Band Perry and Garth Brooks. In regards to Dierks Bentley, he was one of the good guys in the mainstream for so long. Sure, he had his pandering radio singles but, for the most part he put out solid, respectable country music. Hell Dierks even did a bluegrass album Up On The Ridge that I still listen to to this day and I have a great deal of respect for Dierks for even doing that. When Dierks Bentley in 2016 released the lead single to his album Black I think that most of us chalked it up as an awful song but understood that that’s the game Dierks plays with radio. He gives them a garbage song and in return he gets to release the album that he wants with better singles to come. However, this time after the bad single came another one and another one and an album full of horrid pop music that erased practically all of the good will the traditional country fans had for Dierks. He turned his back on his fans and the music that made him into a B level star. That wasn’t enough though Dierks was it? You wanted to be like your booty shaking compadre Luke Bryan or Florida Georgia Line.

Then we have the freak show that is The Band Perry. I’ll be perfectly honest, I never was much of a fan of The Band Perry’s music as a country band. But, at least I could respect their music even if it wasn’t my kind of thing. Their fans had grown to love the little country folk band that had released a couple solid albums which included songs like the smash hit “If I Die Young” and the Glen Cambell cover “Gentle On My Mind.” They were never going to be A list country stars and that’s fine. They were pretty consistent turning out hit songs and regularly got to perform at the country awards shows. That wasn’t good enough though. They wanted to go pop and become bigger than ever. They spent a great deal of time and money dealing with image consultants, marketing people ext and what did it get them? A complete embarrassing flop on the radio with the song “Live Forever.” Then we almost got the song “Put Me In The Game Coach” but that was quickly pulled. The Band Perry was later released from their contract with Big Machine after which time the band went back to country with the crybaby release of “Comeback Kid.” Essentially, The Band Perry was whining that people were mean to them and passing the blame on everyone else while again throwing the middle finger to their longtime fans. And now The Band Perry is back to pop.

Finally, we have Garth Brooks who has really grinded my gears for awhile now and it has little to do with his music. Artists that include but are not limited to Garth Brooks, Taylor Swift, Jason Aldean and Adele have all done things to limit accessibility to their music. All of these artists with the exception of Garth Brooks have gotten away with it because they are megastars. What Garth Brooks has done that pisses me off is basically refuse to join us in the digital age with his music. For YEARS Garth Brooks refused to make his music available for digital download or streaming ANYWHERE. Then Garth Brooks partnered with GhostTunes a site that nobody on earth ever wanted to use and made his music available there for digital download but oh wait, there was a catch. You still could not simply download individual songs, you had to download the entire album or nothing. Then some more years go by and Garth Brooks in the year 2016 finally decides to make his music available for stream and digital download but wait, there’s yet another catch. It will only be available to stream through Amazons new streaming service that nobody uses. Do you wonder why your music and your new albums continue to be so irrelevant? Do you wonder why nobody talks about your albums even during the week they are released? It’s simple Garth, arrogance and ignorance. It annoys me to no end when artists limit accessibility to their music through exclusive deals but nobody has handled this worse than Garth Brooks.

The Band Perry should be a warning shot to country artists in the mainstream and elsewhere. If you screw over your fans and the people that got this far there may be no going back. In regards to Garth Brooks he is irrelevant except to his longtime fans in large part due to the arrogance and ignorance. What will happen to Dierks as a result of screwing over the people and the music that got him here is yet to be seen. The point however, is not to bite the hand that feeds you. The fans are everything. Without the fans you have no career. Tread carefully.

Re-Charting The Chart

Every week we will take a look at the top 30 Mediabase Country Chart. We will re-rank the songs on the chart based on the quality and overall enjoyment of each song. Next to each song I will provide the ranking that we would give it and the actual ranking on the Mediabase chart in parenthesis (From America’s Music Charts). Songs that are in the color red are songs that are either recurrent or in danger of going recurrent soon, while blue is for songs that I predict will go to number 1 at some point. At the end of each ranking there will be some thoughts about the current chart as well as any news or updates that are deemed important. I hope everyone enjoys this weekly post and feel free to comment/agree/disagree with anything you see.

  1. Zac Brown Band                                                       My Old Man (30) A
  2. Eric Church ft. Rhiannon Giddens                     Kill A Word (8) A-
  3. Craig Campbell                                                         Outskirts of Heaven (26) B+
  4. Runaway June                                                            Lipstick (28) B+
  5. Chris Janson                                                               Holdin’ Her (21) B+
  6. Brad Paisley                                                                Today (4) B+
  7. Miranda Lambert                                                      We Should Be Friends (25) B
  8. Darius Rucker                                                             If I Told You (22) B
  9. Chris Young                                                                Sober Saturday Night (1) B
  10. Dan and Shay                                                              How Not To (19)
  11. Little Big Town                                                           Better Man (5)  B-
  12. Josh Turner                                                                  Hometown Girl (12) C+
  13. Jon Pardi                                                                       Dirt On My Boots (2) C+
  14. Luke Bryan                                                                  Fast (6) C+
  15. Jason Aldean                                                               Any Ol’ Barstool (9) C+
  16. High Valley                                                                 Make You Mine (16) C+
  17. Luke Combs                                                                Hurricane (18) C
  18. Kenny Chesney                                                          Bar At The End of…(14) C
  19. Garth Brooks                                                              Baby, Let’s Lay Down… (13) C
  20. Trent Harmon                                                            There’s a Girl (20) C
  21. Lauren Alaina                                                             Road Less Traveled (7) C
  22. Rascal Flatts                                                                Yours If You Want It (23) C-
  23. Brett Young                                                                 In Case You Didn’t Know (27) C-
  24. Keith Urban                                                                 The Fighter (29) F
  25. Kelsea Ballerini                                                          Yeah Boy (10) F
  26. Dierks Bentley                                                            Black (17) F
  27. Michael Ray                                                                Think a Little Less (3) F
  28. Lady Antebellum                                                       You Look Good (24) F
  29. Brantley Gilbert                                                        The Weekend (11) F
  30. Sam Hunt                                                                    Body Like A Backroad(15) F

New To The Top 30: Zac Brown Band “My Old Man” Such a great song. This is also the first time a song has surpassed “Kill A Word” for the top spot on my Re-Charting The Chart.

Songs That Left The Top 30: “Seein’ Red.” I would love if I never had to see Dustin Lynch on this chart again. His music is garbage and has no place on any station.

Songs I See Leaving Us Soon: “Baby Lets Lay Down and Dance” and “Lipstick” are done. I’m so disappointed to see “Lipstick” go because I love that song and Runaway June in general. No news on a new album or follow up single yet. And yeah Garth Brooks is still a thing I guess. Also “There’s A Girl” is done. 

Quick Thoughts: One of the worst songs on the chart leaves and probably the best song that will chart this year joins the chart so good news on that front. There are still too many songs that just don’t belong on the chart hell “Make You Mine” is on week 54 for pete sake. Also I added “Road Less Traveled” to songs that I predict will go number one eventually. I’m a little surprised but, it shows how powerful On The Verge can be. What helps her is that there are some songs behind her that are running out of gas that will not go number 1.